When I was pregnant, I read many birthing stories because I thought it might prepare me for mine. Not really. Actually I found that some really freaked me out. Had I read my birthing story, it would’ve freaked me out. I was carrying a rainbow baby so I was already on high alert. After my first birthing experience, knowing these 4 helpful things would’ve made my birthing experience much better an easier!
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4 Things I Learned During my First Birthing Experience
Just because it’s a slim possibility doesn’t mean it can’t happen to you
I was relieved when I found out that almost all birthing stories are not like the images from Hollywood movies of water breaking and the baby coming immediately, right there and now, and screaming… lots and lots of screaming. I then went on through my pregnancy in bliss… right up until I was having my son.
I went to the hospital and they told me I was only 1 cm dilated and no where close to having this baby. They didn’t have room for me in triage so I had to wait in the lobby. It didn’t help that it was my DUE DATE and chances of giving birth on your due date is quite slim (unless you’re me, it happened twice)! After 30 minutes, I finally got into a triage room, my water broke… like BURST. There was no question that it could be anything else. It wasn’t like I accidentally peed myself.
Nurses came to check on me and told me I was still at 1 cm and that there was no rooms available in labor and delivery. Do you know what that means? It means I can’t get any medication for labor and delivery in triage.
Trust your body and listen to what it is telling you
After almost an hour of consistent contractions, a nurse came in to try and get me to walk to a room in labor and delivery but I told her I was in too much pain to get up and do that. The look on her annoyed face told me she definitely didn’t believe me. As soon as she left I felt something that felt a lot like my water bursting again except this time it was just blood. I didn’t know it at the time, nor did anyone else, but I was in active labor despite what nurses were telling me.
I got wheeled into my room in labor and delivery instead and they had just changed me into a hospital gown before leaving to get my epidural ready. Obviously I wasn’t going to get said epidural. Instead I turned to my husband (who wanted to return to the car and get our hospital bag) and told him that the baby was coming RIGHT NOW. The only nurse left in the room told me that she believed me (finally!) and rushed out of the room.
Within a minute, 5-6 nurses came rushing in. I assumed the one talking to me was the doctor and she asked me if I had a name for my baby. I told her his name is Jameson and she said I was going to be meeting Jameson very soon!
I am stronger than I think I am
It wasn’t until THIS point that I felt like I completely lost it: “WHERE IS MY EPIDURAL?!” She went on to tell me something about how I can’t get an epidural anymore and I just remember turning to my husband and crying, “I CAN’T DO THIS!”
I wasn’t even attached to any monitors at this point and they had to rely on me to tell them when the contraction was coming. I pushed twice and my son came out. I was in shock for a few minutes after delivering my son as I tried to grip in my mind what just happened. I made it through the entire process naturally even though it wasn’t my choice and I didn’t even tear!
Keeping low expectations
I was in labor and delivery a total of 15 minutes! Had my husband left me to get the hospital bag, he would’ve missed the entire thing. All I could think about during the entire time was ending my pain and having a healthy baby boy. Nothing else mattered and everything else fell into place wherever it was. I am glad I didn’t do a birthing plan because maybe I would’ve been disappointed given the experience I had or maybe had a good laugh thinking I could try and control any part of what would come so naturally anyway.
The counselor I found years after this birthing experience told me that this event could’ve been the triggering moment that caused my postpartum depression. That the lingering notions of being a bad mom during my pregnancy was exasperated with a somewhat traumatic experience with birth. The immediate need neglected by my nurses enforced a state of helplessness in my mind and reinforced the notions of becoming a bad mom.
What was your birthing experience like? Let us know what you thought of this post in the comments below!
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