3 Healthy Self Care Tips When You Can’t Get Pregnant

Infertility Tips
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If you’re trying to get pregnant and can’t, its important to take the time and care for ourselves. Try these 3 self care tips when you can’t get pregnant to help you refocus while staying hopeful and positive!

My husband and I got married in May 2011 and we decided that it was time for us to start our family after purchasing our first home in June 2011.  It was until October/November of 2012 that I finally got pregnant.  That entire year felt like an eternity and I had actually given up a month prior to becoming pregnant thinking that maybe motherhood wasn’t my calling.  It hurt and such feelings also did damage to my marriage.  

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My story isn’t much different from many women or couples that struggle with infertility.  We can often think of when we thought about having kids and whether that was in our future, but what if it wasn’t our choice to make?  Choices are powerful and when that is taken away, we often feel lost and confused.  Whether you struggled with infertility for a few months or years, the feelings are mutual.  You may feel:

  • Depressed
  • Angry
  • Confused
  • Afraid
  • Anxious
  • Lonely
  • Helpless
  • Hopeless

If you feel one of these, a few of these, or all of them (and more) I want you know that you are not alone and you will get through this.  Experts say it takes on average 3 months to get pregnant but that is just a number.  Everyone is different so it’s not surprising that it varies at all.   If you’ve been trying to conceive for 6 months without any luck, try these helpful tips!

3 Self Care Tips When You Can’t Get Pregnant

After about 6 months of trying to conceive, I started to worry.  My husband and I often fought and pointed the blame to each other and even made my husband get his sperm tested.  When emotions are high, sometimes we don’t make the right decisions and that’s what I did to my husband.  It caused a strain in our marriage and caused a lot of stress around the entire issue.  When you’re trying to get pregnant, you want to promote a loving stress-free environment in your marriage. 

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Plan a date and date often!  

There are a lot of emotional stresses when it comes to trying to get pregnant and after several months, haven’t been successful.  It’s important to reconnect with your spouse and for some reason most married couples forget to date after getting married!  My husband and I joined a support group a few years back that told us about the 7/7/7 Dating.  It goes like this:

  • Go out on a day date every 7 Days
  • Have an overnight date every 7 Weeks
  • Plan a weekend date every 7 Months

It is an easy plan to remember and the best part is that it doesn’t have to be costly.  A day date can be a simple picnic at the park on a nice day, having a movie night in, a candlelight dinner at home, going for a hike, etc.  It can be anything you both really love doing.  It’s a great reminder to why you love each other and want to have a baby together.  It’s important to keep this foundation in your marriage strong during times of infertility.

Daily Affirmations Exercises

The exercise is simple.  Tell yourself and your spouse two positive affirmations everyday.  Affirmations are words of encouragement, praise, or a heartfelt thank you given to yourself or your spouse.  I realized that I haven’t been telling my husband thank you for doing some of the little things I love or want him to do because I assumed he knew I was thankful.  Truthfully he didn’t because being married didn’t change fact that we couldn’t read each other’s minds.

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These exercises also help with building yourself up because when you’re feeling: depressed, alone, confused, etc. you can start thinking of really mean things about yourself and forget the good in you.  Examples of affirmations exercise looks like this:

For your spouse:

  • I really appreciate you taking care of the dishes after dinner.
  • You give the best hugs and I really look forward to them when you come home from work.
  • I just wanted to tell you how proud I am to be your spouse.

For yourself:

  • I am a good wife.
  • I am a smart, dedicated person.
  • I’m a wonderful daughter.
  • I’m a hardworking employee.
  • I am a friendly person.
  • I am a good friend.

Establish a Self-Care Plan/Routine

A great way to help deal with the stress of infertility is establishing a self-care plan or routine to help you minimize your stress level.  These plans vary from person to person because we all stress about many different things in varying degrees and our ways to de-stress varies as well.  Below are some self-care ideas to help you make your own plan:

  • A long hot bath after a stressful day at work
  • Spending 30 minutes reading a book everyday
  • Going for a 15 minute walk at lunch time
  • Going for a run every morning
  • Getting a manicure and/or pedicure
  • Calling a distant friend and reconnecting
  • Having a girls night out
  • Taking your dog for a walk

Make sure to stick to your plan and have your spouse help you with them.

Just remember that during this time you’re not alone, make sure to stay connected with your spouse because this is a journey you both are doing together. 

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What tips do you have for someone struggling with infertility?
Leave us a comment!

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39 Replies to “3 Healthy Self Care Tips When You Can’t Get Pregnant”

  1. Thank you for sharing your story with us! I’m sure these tips will help a lot the people who are trying to start a family.

  2. Cynthia Marie says: Reply

    Such a great story. I am sure these tips will help others that are having a hard time conceiving.

  3. Such an amazing and inspiring story. Thank you so much for being willing to share not only your story but your advice.

  4. Stephanie Pass says: Reply

    I had infertility issues with my second baby. It was very stressful and I cried a lot. I worked with my ob/gyn for a year to get pregnant before I finally asked to see a reproductive endocrinologist specialist, who then helped me get pregnant within just one cycle. Thankfully with babies #3 and #4, I learned what I needed to do to get pregnant easily on my own.

    1. Thats amazing and so glad you reached out! <3

  5. Hormones really is a big factor in infertility. The mood and emotional settings dictates hormonal balance.

    1. I am such a believer in this too!

  6. I have four kids and wanted one more, and we haven’t been able to get pregnant in the last 5 years. People think that just because I have kids that I shouldn’t be upset, but it still hurts. Infertility at any point is hard. These are great ways to stay positive.

    1. That can be hard! I know its difficult and what people say can hurt even if they didn’t mean it! Thanks for visiting and good luck!

  7. Will share this to friends. I know some who are trying but no luck. Thank you.

  8. Shannon Patterson says: Reply

    I struggled with infertility for 4 years before I got my miracle baby. These are really great tips for anyone going through the struggle. The self-care was the biggest tip for me that really helped.

  9. Such a great post, especially for other women struggling who may feel alone or less of a women. I went through most of these same feelings after the loss of a pregnancy, wish i would have found a post like this back than

  10. These are fantastic tips. My best friend isn’t able to have kids and her journey to adoption was 2.5 years of heartache. Her marriage is stronger for it and it’s because her husband never stopped dating her, checking things off their bucket list, helped her stay positive, and really kept their marriage first.

  11. These are some awesome tips, it must be awful being in a position where you want to get pregnant and whatever you do you can’t.

  12. Emmanuel Damian says: Reply

    Self-care plan is the best tip! I’ll tell this to my friend. He really need this article so that he and his wife can have a baby next year.

  13. It must be so hard for people who are not getting the news! Self care is really important and you included some great tips!

  14. I has to be so hard for those who can’t conceive. I was very fortunate and never had a problem.

  15. I am not at that stage of my life where I have to think about babies and fertility so I would not have any test. I think I would just like people to tell me it is not my fault and all okay. And that there is always a solution

  16. Denay DeGuzman says: Reply

    Infertility is heartbreaking. Sometimes when you relax, stop concentrating on it, all of a sudden the magic happens. This has been the case with several of my friends. Others have used infertility treatments with great success.

  17. Love this! And thanks for reminding us about affirmation! As a busy mom, I usually forget to appreciate others especially my husband and sometimes it cause distance between us. Affirmation really plays a vital role in all marriages/relationships

  18. Patricia-Ann Que says: Reply

    affirmations are great! it is a good way to stay positive and motivate each other especially with our busy lives

  19. This are great ideas to keep in mind. I’m sure infertility is a tough thing to go through. I can’t even imagine. I do like these affirmations!

  20. Jessica Taylor says: Reply

    I have a few friends struggling with infertility, so this will be a great post to share with them.

  21. These seem like fun and easy tips to help. Hope they do!

  22. i can imagine it would be very stressful to deal with fertility issues, and these are awesome recommendations. but really, ideas are so good to incorporate into a relationship whether you are trying for a baby or not!

  23. I can only imagine the stress of not getting pregnant after several tries. But it gives a couple to still work on their relationship and these are good tips!

  24. Lavanda Michelle says: Reply

    Great tips. It must be a very difficult thing to experience so many time. Imsharing woth my sister in law, to help her.

  25. Kelly Hutchinson says: Reply

    These are great tips. I had a friend who struggled with infertility. It was heartbreaking.

  26. These are helpful tips. Most couple who can’t have kids fall to depression. But clearly, there are a lot of things that can e done to cope with sadness. They can always pray to God for guidance and be busy doing good things to others.

  27. […] suffered from a miscarriage just the previous month before and it was devastating especially after trying to conceive for over a year.  During my pregnancy with my first son, we didn’t tell friends until after […]

  28. kim@hungryhealthygirl says: Reply

    I know infertility can be so devastating. I’m sure this will be very helpful for someone.

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  32. I think that it is fantastic how far this has come in the last 30 to 40 years. Thanks for the article.

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